Andy C

BA Communications ('17)

Describe your BYU experience

My entire BYU experience was a roller coaster ride of emotions and experiences. The bad: severe depression and anxiety, being sexually assaulted, being berated and suspended by the Honor Code Office because of the assault, losing my job and housing because of the HCO’s decision—the first few years at BYU were absolute hell. The good: finding myself, learning to love myself, learning to love others, actually experiencing healthy relationships for the first time in my life, taking once-in-a-lifetime trips with my program, learning valuable principles that have helped guide my life since graduation—the last few years at BYU helped make those first few years of pain worth it.

Being at BYU was one of the hardest trials of my life. Never before had I felt so lonely in a sea full of people. I was the only one experiencing my feelings, right? Then those feelings must be wrong! No, in fact it was quite the opposite. First, there were so many others at BYU going through the same things I was, so I wasn’t alone. Second, the feelings I had were not wrong—they were far from it! Once I was able to accept myself for who I was, I made it a priority to find happiness. Most everything I did had to be done in secret, and while that was definitely not ideal, it didn’t matter—I was finally being me.

I’ll never forget my time at BYU, mainly for the negative, but also for the things I learned. The experiences there helped shape me into the person I am today and while I wish some of those things never happened, I can’t go back and change time. Instead, I just have to learn from them and use them to craft a new view of my world.

Describe your experience post-BYU

My experience since graduating from BYU has been great! It’s been liberating to not have to hide who I am or what I believe in. While I still live in Utah, I’ve found people of all walks and faiths, even those in the LDS Church, who love and support me. The leadership I interacted with at BYU were so close-minded and judgemental that I thought that was just how every interaction would be for the rest of my life anytime it came out that I was gay. But that’s not true—there are so many people I deal with on a day-to-day basis who love and support me for simply being me. Being “out” after BYU has helped me form new relationships and connections, and it’s strengthened most of my old ones as well.

What advice or wisdom would you share with a current LGBTQ+ BYU student?

Find where you belong! For me, I would have never been able to get through BYU were it not for the friendship and support from my instructors, specifically those in my Communications and Sociology classes. Get involved with organizations on and around campus that support you and build you up. The networking and support I received from USGA, for instance, helped bolster me in dark times throughout my BYU experience. Wherever you go, there are people who will love and support you—find them, and never let them go!

Are there any other thoughts or experiences you’d like to share?

Remember that no matter what happens while you’re at BYU, it’s not the end. There’s a whole life of happiness and joy out there; you just have to find it. Find what makes you happy, and then do everything in your power to keep it. Whether your journey keeps you within the LDS Church or it takes you in the complete opposite direction, remember that it’s your life to live and only you can really make the decisions necessary to achieve happiness and satisfaction. Put yourself first and remember your priorities, and everything else will fall into place!

Posted January 2020